The Sentinels: Chapter Ten
Jan. 18th, 2009 08:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Chapter Ten
“You're an idiot!" Sam said walking into Jack's office three days later.
Jack just looked at her with his eyebrows raised Iike he knew he had it coming to him, and that made Sam all the more angrier.
“Were you ever going to tell us you were leaving?”
Jack looked down ashamed but his answer contradicted that shame. "It would have made things easier, but things are never easy, are they?”
''You weren’t." Sam said surprised. She slammed her hands down on his desk, ''You were just going to leave us high and dry while you ran off, away from your problems? I thought you and Daniel loved each other more than that!”
Sam knew she should not have yelled that as loud as she did in case there was anyone around to overhear that, but right now she didn't care. Right now she cared more about the big gapping rift that was forming between Jack and the rest of them and getting bigger and bigger. She knew that if she didn't do something to fix this now then Jack and Daniel would never be the same. SG-1 would never be the same, and neither would the SGC.
Jack shook his head, "I do love him more than you could possibly understand, but this isn't something I can fix. Daniel is the one who left me. Daniel is the one who doesn't want anything to do with me or our relationship. Do you think I want to leave?”
"Yes I do," Sam said cutting in. ''You're arranged everything in less than three days and today is your last day. I only know about this because I heard some of the nurses talking about it and then SG-4. You're running away, I don't know why, but you are. You are abandoning everything you've put in for this program, and you're abandoning all of us!”
The door slammed behind her as Jack stood, almost white eyes blazing in cold fury. Sam jumped, looked at the door then at Jack, surprised and a little fearful. She knew Jack had to be powerful, but she had no idea just how powerful he was or the extent of what he could do. Ascension and the powers that came with it were still so mysterious even though they knew quite a bit about it.
"I don’t want to leave Carter, but I have to, and I'm certainly not abandoning you!" he came around the desk to her and she backed away. There was something in the air, coming off of him in waves, and it terrified her. "You have no idea what it's like to be as old as I am now, how madding it is to see everything and everyone you love die while you live on. There are sides of me you've never seen Carter, sides you don't want to see."
Sam stared at the swirling white in her friends eyes, and she just knew, somehow, that what she'd been assuming about Jack's reasoning was all wrong. There were sides of Jack she didn't know, things about him that, no matter how long she lived, she never learn because there was just so much. Jack's leaving was just one of those things, because though she could see that he was losing control of himself, there was something deeper behind that, something that had to have been there for a long time.
She nodded. ''You're right, I'm sorry sir."
Jack sighed, despair crossing his face as he moved away. ''Just go, Carter.
Sam hesitated, but she realized that if she stayed she'd see more of the Jack he did not want her to see. So she left and went down to her office to try and work, but her mind refused to and focused instead on Jack, and fixing the rift between him and Daniel.
There wasn't much she could do, save maybe talk to Daniel. She'd told Jack she wouldn’t bug his former lover, but things were getting so bad that she had to. Daniel needed to see his mistake, needed to go fix things with Jack before he lost him forever because her gut told her that after tonight they would no longer be able to find Jack.
She gave up trying to work and went down to Daniel's office. The door was open and she could see him bent over what looked like furling text and the notes he, and Jonas, had compiled.
"You're an idiot," she said simply, standing in the doorway.
Daniel's head shot up, startled, his eyes wide in disbelief. ''What?''
Sam sighed, entered the office and closed the door. ''I know that this is none of my business, and normally I wouldn't get involved, but this is going so far out of control that I don't even think you realize it. ''
Daniel frowned, ''Ok, I'm lost."
"I know about you're break-up, Jack told me. What you don't understand though, is that because of this, Jack is leaving for good and not coming back. Ever. If he goes, he will be miserable, you will be miserable and everything will be fucked up. I know you, and I can't understand why you've left him just because he trusts you, enough to tell you the one secret he was afraid to."
“He only told us because we saw him beam in from the Narcissus" Daniel argued.
Sam shook her head, ''He could have erased all our memories of the incident Daniel, he's probably done so before. Instead he's told us things we thought impossible and shared a secret he was afraid we'd hate him for. And what do you do? You shatter his heart and leave him!"
"If he trusted us - if he trusted me - then why didn't he say something before?" Daniel snapped, and Sam saw the crux of Daniel's problem,
"Would you have told us if you were in his position?" she asked, ''I wouldn't have, and I don't think I'd have told Pete either. He's fifty million years old, we can't even begin to understand the things he's been through, understand the things he's seen. As amazing as some of his knowledge and experiences will no doubt be, there are some things I don't think I'd be able to handle if I heard, and if I were him I don t think I'd want to tell it."
Daniel looked struck for a moment and Sam continued on, "You hurt him Daniel. You're the reason this is his last day at the SGC.”
Daniel looked down and asked softly, ''What would you do?"
"I'd go back to him. I'd try and make things work."
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.
Long after Sam had left Daniel was still sitting in his office, wondering if in fact he had made the wrong decision. He loved Jack so much, but learning about his true origins had made him feel like he hadn't known Jack at all. What hurt the most was that he would never get to completely know Jack, because instead of fifty years of life shaping stories there were fifty million years worth and there wasn't the time to learn everything, even if they tried.
Was the Jack he knew the same Jack his children and grandchildren knew, or was he completely different? How the hell was he suppose to know. How the hell was he suppose to handle this. What was he suppose to fucking do?!
He didn't know what to do, and it was killing him. And now, with the information Sam had passed on, he felt even worse. He had broken Jack and now he was leaving. Leaving. NO, Jack couldn't be leaving, Jack loved the SGC. Jack loved him, Jack couldn't leave! Except, he'd left Jack first.
“GAHH!'' Daniel screamed in confusion, pushing away from his desk and clutching his head in his hands. His love for Jack and the pain held caused were battling for dominance, trying to influence his next actions and he could not find a common ground, one in which he could breath and think properly,
"Damm it, why can't anything just be simple?" Daniel asked aloud, near tears.
"It wasn't always so difficult," a young voice answered back.
Daniel looked up in shock and saw the face of a young boy that had been burned into his memories long ago, "Wha- How?''
Charlie O' Neill smiled back at him, sitting on his desk swinging his legs, "I'm Ascended Daniel. It's the only way for me to continue living the life I was suppose to be living, but never had the chance to. I am much like Oma in that I lead people to Ascension whom I believe are worthy of such a gift, people who will not abuse their new power.
“Then why are you here?" Daniel asked
“To help you," a different voice answered, this one female and one Daniel recognized instantly,
He turned to Shau’ri who was standing beside him. She was as beautiful as ever, her hair let loose, her body clothed in the simple robes of her people and her eyes shining with love. Daniel felt his heart burst with joy and love at seeing her again, free of the Goa’uld who had enslaved her. He stood and hugged her tightly, remembering all the times he'd held her before.
He pulled back and kissed her, briefly but passionately. "Help me with what?" he asked, looking between her and Charlie, arms still embracing her.
Charlie rolled his eyes, "Come on Spacemonkey, you were just complaining about it."
"Don't call me Spacemonkey,'' Daniel said immediately, hating it when anyone but Jack called him by that pet name."And how can you help me when I don’t even know how to help myself?
Shau’ri laughed, lightly, ''Ah my Daniel, you forget that as Ascended beings we know exactly what will help you.''
"The secret lies hidden in your Ascended memories,'' Charlie added."And it is from those memories that you will learn exactly what you need to, in order to repair your relationship with my father."
"But do I want to? ''Daniel asked releasing Shau’ri and backing away. "Is that what I really want to do?"
''Is it?" Shau’ri asked.
"I don't know! ''Daniel yelled, tears forming in his eyes, ''I don't know what I want. A part of me wants to beg Jack to take me back, but the other part of me fears that he isn't the man I fell in love with, that Jack O 'Neill is but a creation or a mask hiding who he really is."
Shar’ri turned him towards her and looked him straight in the eye. ''When you Ascended Daniel, I was there to greet you and together we learned everything we could on the Ascended plane. I was there when you learned about the Sentinels the first time, and Jack remembers, because the two of you talked for days. Make this right Daniel. Re-learn what you've already learned."
Daniel stared into her eyes for several minutes and saw a wealth of knowledge held only ever seen before in Oma and Jack. Her eyes asked him to trust her, and himself. To trust the knowledge she possessed and embrace his sealed memories.
He tore his gaze away from her and towards Charlie. ''Why did you wait until now?"
"Because I believed you wouldn't let things go this far, but I was wrong, and I want to make sure....'" he shook his head."Nothing, it's not important as long as you get back with father. Do you want your memories back?"
Daniel nodded, ''Yes."
Charlie's smile brightened, and then his entire being and before Daniel knew it he was being engulfed in ascended energy, and knowledge that had been looked away inside his brain came rushing back, overloading him and causing him to loose physical consciousness.
"Jack, who are you talking to?" the Ascended Daniel asked, sitting on the bench in his lover's prison in Ba’al's fortress.
“The woman." Jack answered, still staring at the entrance.
Daniel looked up but there was no one there, and he told him so.
“Look who's talking.''
“I told you I'd come back."
Jack scowled. "If the Daniel Jackson I knew really was here"
"I am," Daniel insisted, willing Jack to see the truth.
"Then do something," he finished.
Daniel squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head, knowing he couldn't do the one thing his lover really wanted. He heard Jack pick himself up after several seconds.
"You listen to me.” he said a little angry. "I don't wanna go through that again. If you were really my friend, my lover, and had the power to stop it, you'd stop it."
Daniel shook his head and gazed up at Jack, ''The hardest part of being who, or what I am is having the power to change the things I want to change and knowing that I can't. Even when I'm certain, even when it's... absolutely clear to me, even when it affects the people I care about."
They continued to argue, Jack asked him to put himself in his shoes, and he answered the way Jack knew he would.
"Damn straight! I'd have busted you out, blown this rat hole to hell and made sure that son-of-a-bitch suffered!"
Daniel knew different, ''The Others would have stopped you."
Jack smirked, and it seemed to Daniel as if he knew that. "They'd have a hell of a fight on their hands.''
He was too sure of himself, a different Jack then what he knew. ''You wouldn't do that."
"Ba’al would be dead," Jack continued.
"Jack." Daniel wanted him to stop his wishful thinking and what ifs.
''And don't think I'd stop there!" he finished.
"You’re a better man than that."
"That's where you’re wrong!'' Jack yelled, and Daniel saw a flash of something ancient in his eyes. He filed it away to search for later.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.
"I always seem to be saying good bye to you "Daniel told him as he lay in the infirmary. He was staring back at him, an unreadable expression on his face.
''Yeah, I noticed that." he smiled. ''Why don't you stick around for a while?"
''I can't really."
“You just did."
“Special occasion."
Jack raised his eyebrows, "Christmas?"
“No.”
“Groundhog day?"
"Nooo ''Daniel smiled.
Jack sighed, "I've got my journey you've got yours?"
“Something like that, yeah. Look I know you don't think so…. right now, I mean I know you have your doubts, but uh, because you've been through something that no one should have to go through. I guess what I'm trying to say is....you're gonna be alright."
“Better me than someone else,'' Jack mumbled.
"That's not true Jack." Daniel told him surprised,
"Yes it is. Any lesser man would never have been able to survive that."
Daniel frowned, “‘Lesser man?’ What do you mean by that?''
Jack smiled secretively, "You'll learn. It's floating around the Ascended Plane somewhere."
Daniel shook his head, ''I have to go, but I have one question,
''What?''
"Why did you really refuse to Ascend?" Because Daniel knew that although Jack had trusted his team to get him out of that mess, something else had held him back, something that Daniel didn't yet know about him.
“You’ll learn that when you learn about my previous comment.” Jack said cryptically."Thanks Daniel."
Daniel smiled, “Your welcome."
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.
“I'm sorry.
Jack rolled over to face him." You didn't know. Look at how long it took you just to find the truth."
Daniel nodded. It had taken him months of getting to know the Others and learning from them to find that many had one thing in common: they'd loved a Sentinel. He'd been surprised to learn that many of them had been with Jack, but not so surprised as soon as he learned Jack's age.
''Why did you insist I help you when you knew I couldn't do anything?" Daniel asked.
“Isn't that what you were expecting? My protests, my accusations?" Jack wondered. He shrugged, “I go by the same code of rules Daniel but I can't just always give away my secrets to Ascended beings. What if Anubis had been watching? He does, from time to time. Charlie tells me when he does. I also wanted to know if you'd stick to the laws, even though it was killing you to watch me go through that."
"Oh. Did you really think I'd go against the Others?" he asked curiously.
Jack shook his head, ''No, but one of these days you will. Everyone does, it's just a matter of one's priorities. You remember Orlin right?"
Daniel nodded.
''He's Caius' nephew and was Ascended for about five thousand years before he got attached to the people of Velona and taught them how to build the weapon that eventually destroyed them. He broke the rules, and as you know his punishment was to stay on that planet and make sure the weapon is never used again. Punishments vary on the severity of the interference."
“And you really think that one day I will interfere?"
Jack nodded, ''Of course. I’ve seen it. Even my most passive child, Naomi, has gone off the handle and broken our laws. It's bound to happen Daniel, and I'm just
waiting to see what sends you over the edge."
''I love you," Daniel said. ''I wish I could touch you, kiss you."
Jack touched his face, surprising him. ''You forget that because I can willingly take Ascended form, I can interact with you intimately at any time I want."
Daniel's heart fluttered and he leaned in, pressing his lips to Jack's hungrily.
"Come back down to this plane Daniel," Jack asked pulling away.
"Though I'm Ascended Jack, I'm still here. I'll never leave you.”
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.
Daniel woke suddenly and sat up. He was still in his office, but it looked like Shau’ri and Charlie had moved him into a more comfortable position. And speaking of the two Ascended, they were no where to be found. When he looked at his watch, he knew why too. It was eleven pm, late for anyone except the night guards.
Charlie and Shau’ri had been right, and he realized that he was the biggest asshole in history. He needed to go to Jack, fix his mistake because he now knew all the answers to what had been bothering him. Jack was still Jack, hadn't changed even though there were some dark spots in his past. There may be a lot to learn about him, but that didn't matter anymore because whatever Jack told him, he'd be grateful for.
He got up, grabbed his keys and ran out of his office. He had to get to Jack before he left because if he left, Daniel didn't know how well he'd be able to handle that.
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