emeraldsnakes | Full Circle: Chapter Thirteen

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Title: Confidant

Wednesday April 20, 2005; Gibbs' House; D.C.; 2:00 am

"Please don't fucking tell me that is coffee you are drinking at two o'clock in the fucking morning!" Tony practically yelled as Gibbs entered the bedroom, mug in hand.

Gibbs chuckled and held the cup up in front of Tony's face form him to sniff. Tony’s eyes narrowed at him before leaning forward a bit and taking a whiff.

"Cider. You drink cider?" he asked surprised.

Gibbs nodded and set the mug on the bedside table. He changed into something far more comfortable than his suit and sat on the bed beside Tony, who was already under the covers.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Though he knew Gibbs couldn't see it, Tony rolled his eyes, "Talk about what, my past? Why, what's the point? It's my past, I don't want to remember it or talk about it Boss."

"I'm not wearing my badge on this DiNozzo," Gibbs said sharply.

Tony turned over and looked up at him with guarded eyes, ''I hate my father, no surprise there. Mom though, I could never hate however now that I think on it I wonder if she knew what he was doing to me.”

"What was he doing to you?" Gibbs asked uncharacteristically soft.

"Abuse, physical and emotional." he answered bitterly. "Bastard did so for as long as I could remember and when I was eleven I’d had enough. He and mom were away at a dinner party the night I left, David was suppose to be looking after James and I but I think he was screwing the girl a few houses down from ours and James always ignored me by that time so it was easy to leave. It wasn't easy living on the streets though, but every time I remembered what it was like back home my conviction to stay away increased."

“James mentioned he saw you twice after running away."

"Twice eh?'' Tony chuckled, ''Well I only remember once and that was when I needed money for college because the people who took me in and became my family couldn't pay for all of my first year. He saw me again?"

"Before that, when you were still on the streets."

"Ah," Tony said nodding. ''Interesting times those were. I'm surprised I only ever was a druggie, and not nearly as long as I could have been. I started shooting up when I was thirteen, used the money I made as a petty thief to buy my next fix and stayed mostly in the rundown house I was living in. I had always been good at saving my money so I had a good sum saved up that it lasted me quite a while. I resorted to other minor crimes when that money ran out, but thankfully I never became desperate enough to start selling myself."

Tony stopped as he remembered his friend and bed-mate Rayne. Rayne, who had been two years older than him, had taught him the ropes of living on the street and then the mechanics of sex. He’d become one of the desperate ones, was pretty and had the right amount of girly features to attract enough people who could pay him.

Tony wondered what had happened to Rayne, because after he was taken in by the DiNozzos they’d lost all contact. He hoped Rayne had been found by someone like he had, but he knew the slim chances of that happening and the slim chances that he’d survived this long.

“Tony?''

Tony looked up at Gibbs startled "what?''

Gibbs frowned, “Are you alright?''

Tony shrugged, "For now. Sorry about trailing off I was just.... thinking. Can we talk later?"

"If you'd like to," Gibbs said. He turned the light off so that there was a glow coming from the hallway and wrapped an arm around Tony as he too got under the covers.

Tony snuggled into Gibbs warmth and the comfort he felt being wrapped in his embrace. ''Actually, I don’t think I could talk about this later, I should finish now."

"If you’d like to,” Gibbs repeated, remaining in his position.

"I got off the streets when I was fifteen after I'd stolen from the DiNozzos and gotten caught by the police. They were good people, kind hearted and against the police’s advice took me in and got me to detox. Christopher is as successful businessman so he had quite a lot of money and once I detoxed he used that money to get be back up to speed, education wise, with others my age. When I had to go to James for money, the business wasn't doing so well and we just didn't have the extra money. But dad was able to work everything out by my second year so I didn't have to ask again."

Tony fell silent. He didn't really have anything else to say. He could say more if Gibbs asked a specific question about it though. He snuggled into Gibbs' warmth and waited.

"Why did you become a cop, you went to college on an athletic scholarship," Gibbs asked after several minutes.

"Most cities I worked I was in Narcotics, mainly because I know what it's like to be a junkie and the shit it does to you. I wanted to get it off the streets, but it's hard to do that when the people you work with don’t trust you or think you're better for a different job. I was actually looking at getting into the DEA when you showed up, and I'm glad you did. I haven't had the kinds of friends I have here in a very long time."

Gibbs hmmed, as if he was thinking something over. ''Why didn’t you contact your brothers again, other than to get money from James?"

Tony snorted, ''I hate James, not like I hate our father but I hate him all the same. He was perfection in Dad's eyes and he sure as hell didn't make it any easier for me when it came to my 'punishments’. He always got me in trouble for the shit he did, always.

''David was actually good to me but there was such an age gap between us that by the time I ran away I thought he’d be glad I was gone. Maybe he was, I don't know and I don't think I can find it in me to care because it was eighteen years ago."

Gibbs kissed him, and it took Tony by surprise because it was gentle and comforting and reassuring. It wasn’t what he usually associated Gibbs with and it was nice to know that he was still there for him.